Frustrated

    So here I sit at work feeling terrible.I've had this sore throat for three days now.I have had the same kind of sore throat before.It's very strange.It starts  scratchy and really hurts during the night,almost like strep.The next day,it's scratchy again.I have felt kinda icky today but I don't really feel sick.Anyway, I worry because I was a smoker for 12 years.I quit before Katy and I were married,so I guess it's been since 2001 since I smoked.I was a pack a day smoker.Sometimes I still crave them...weird.The point is ,and I do have one, is that I worry about getting cancer.Anytime I have atypical symptoms for anything,I worry.I don't want my children to watch me go through that. I need to be here to protect them.So I'll call tomorrow to see the doctor, since I have had two similar episodes.Katy won't let me forget.If you're the praying type,pray for me.

     When I'm feeling better, I'm determined to start putting in some miles.Even if the miles are treadmill miles.We're afraid of swine flu so we decided to not take our kids to child care at the gym.Maybe we know too much being in the medical field.Most people are misinformed by the stupid media.I'm afraid for my children.Perfectly healthy people are dying from the H1N1.So running is not only healthy, but a great stress relief still.I want to get back to 25 miles a week.Last week I did 5 miles at 1900 hrs at work and then 6 miles with Katy the next day.My legs were really sore while I was running,but I pushed through it.My quads hurt like crazy for three days.That's never happened before.I really am set on running a marathon someday.I looked for a 10k I could run, but there aren't any on this side of town.It's a matter of convenience really.No child care,and even if we could find someone,they would have to be at our house early.

      The YMCA is opening near my house soon.I would like to use that to get back to XT and do some  strength training too.I have finally come to terms with never being even a hint of the muscular physique I have always hoped for.At this point in my life, I'll be happy with looking fit.So thus begins a new quest.When I'm feeling better,I am going to give myself three months.For three months I'm going to be strict about what food I eat.(translation :no junk food),and be diligent about running,increasing miles and strength training.We'll see how it goes.I'll try to blog about my progress.And off I go...

The mind is willing,but.....

         I ran five miles this evening.It felt awesome.I have not been running as much and I can really tell the difference mentally and physically.I think if I could get more sleep, I would run more.That's the excuse I'm using this week.I've gone from 20-25 miles a week to 8 miles/week. Man I suck.I will look today for a race to train for,and blog about it next time.That will hold me accountable.Well, I'm not sure any one even reads this blog.I think Katy does.{hello sweetheart}It is cooler now so I don't have to contend with the heat.I thought asking the church if they would sponsor me to run the PF Changs half. We could get a whole team from the church and raise money and awareness for Vision Abolition.For those not familiar,it gives a place of refuge for women in Africa escaping the sex trade industry.The church is big enough I think we could raise a lot of money.I feel like I want to be involved some how.We can't go on a mission trip because of our children,so I want to help in some way.I'll pray about it and see where God leads me.

           Emily is enjoying soccer.I really need to get out and practice with her.I don't want her to get discouraged before she has a chance to enjoy it.Soccer goes right along with her little personality.She is so full of life.I know,most parents say that about there kids.Cade has started sticking his feet in the toilet when he goes potty.Need less to say, he doesn't get "privacy" any more when he goes.Becca...well we're praying for patients.

          We took a six year old to Maricopa County Hosp tonight for level 1 injuries.I hate kid calls.It makes me want to go home and hug my children.We needed to start an IV on her.Kids don't understand.All they know is that I'm sticking them with a needle.I think she's going to be fine.It's Fall now so the drowning season is just about over. Those are the worst calls.Some medics go home afterward because it can be hard to handle.That's one reason why there is a high turn over rate in EMS.I'm surprised there aren't more alcoholics.People say we have a strange sense of humor.That is true, but I think it's a survival mechanism more than anything because it's universal.EMS is like no other job for sure.Where else can you take care of some one who just took off a greater portion of there face with a bullet, then go eat lunch 10 minutes later? Man I love being a medic.Anyway,it's late.I'm heading to bed.I hope to sleep tonight.Running calls all night is one thing that sucks about being a medic.The other is the firefighters, but that's another blog.Run in the morning...WooHoo!!!And off I go.....

       

Time to make some changes.

        I ran 4 1/2 miles today on the treadmill.It felt great! I have been a slacker lately,and I have not been running. I think mostly because I've just been tired.At the risk of sounding like a complainer, I'M TIRED. My job is largely to blame.For those of you that don't know me well, my shifts are 24 hrs. I've been doing it for 13 yrs, you would think I'd be used to it by now. Anyway, it's time to make some changes. Katy and I have vowed to get more sleep, and to eat better.We eat a very well balanced diet,but lately I've been "snacking" more than I should.I think I eat for comfort sometimes,like self medicating.That is a very bad habit.I don't have weight to lose,but I want to avoid diabetes.I wish they would make Cheetos vitamin fortified.How awesome would that be if they were good for you.

         I still have not reached my running goal of 10 miles.We're on the fence still for the 1/2 marathon.I think I'm going to look  into running another race,maybe a 10k.Having that to work toward will give me motivation.I feel like I hit a plateau that I need to get past.I will try to blog my miles more in case someone cares.

      Katy is awesome.We are making an effort to pray together more.We are hoping God will honor that and bless our family in unexpected ways. We still are tossing around the idea of adoption.On one hand it would be nice to have the freedom to date more and be more "husband and wife" instead of feeling like"mom and dad" ALL the time.On the other hand there are so many children out there that need love that Katy and I have to give.God has not taken the desire away from us.We are trusting His timing, and plan for our lives.God is good all the time. Scripture for this week"For it is by Grace you have been saved through faith; and that is not of yourselves, it is the gift of God." Ephesians 2:8 And off I go...